blog 69

Blog 69

I am going to blog about the fact that I have no idea what I want to do with my life. I have woken up the past few days with the thought that I am completely lost when it comes to the direction of my existence on Earth. Where the hell am I going? What do I want to do? The answer is I don't know. I truly don't know. I worry that I am wasting my parents money here, and that I am going to end up with some shitty, dead-end job that I really won't like. I once read that to find happiness in life, one must find purpose in their profession and surround themselves with people they love. I have no problems finding and surrounding myself with people I love; I have a big, supportive family and many great friends. But when it comes to finding a purposeful job, well that's where I am concerned. Sometimes I think about the complexity and sheer size of the world we live in, and than my mind wanders to the universe and all the unknown aspects of it. I feel fairly insignificant. Actually I feel very insignificant. What can I do in my life that has purpose? As the summer begins, I feel as if I am going to spend a lot of time thinking about this, and I hope I find something. So many people seem so sure of the direction of their lives. Maybe this is a natural feeling and I am sure everyone feels it at some point, but I just don't want to become some statistic, just another person wandering aimlessly until death. I want to serve a purpose for a greater cause. And this doesn't by any means translate to some religious bullshit, sorry to those of you that are religious. I want to be a part of a symbiotic relationship with the Earth, with other people, not just a parasitic entity. I know the answer is out there, that I will discover the right path for me. It's just a matter of time.